Who's the Coolest World Leader?
The latest cache of documents released by WikiLeaksis full of disclosures that are causing embarrassment for the United States and our allies. However, if you get past that -- and the treason those who have leaked this information may have committed -- this batch of information, consisting of 250,000 confidential U.S. diplomatic cables, is actually pretty interesting.
That's because a lot of it focuses on the personalities of some of the world's most prominent leaders. Now we know all about the gift-filled bromance between Vladimir Putin and Silvio Berlusconi, how Muammar al-Gaddafi always has a voluptuous blonde Ukrainian nurse at his side and that U.S. diplomats believe vagina-having Angela Merkel is the only leader man enough to rule Europe.
Given the TMZ-like nature of many of the exposed cables, it got us thinking: Who is the world's coolest head of state?
Read on to learn the cool and not-so-cool things about each of our five nominees. Then use the comment section to bring up any awesome world leaders that we've overlooked. (Bonus points for anyone who can offer up a cogent argument as to why Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper should be on this list.)
Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi
Why he's cool: He allegedly throws wild, marijuana-filled parties during which comely young ladies wait in line to spend quality time with the billionaire. He pretty much always says and does whatever the hell he wants.
Why he's not: Berlusconi has had more plastic surgery than an aging starlet.
French President Nicolas Sarkozy
Why he's cool: He married a former supermodelwho previously dated Mick Jagger and Eric Clapton, and he is always running around being all dynamic and compact.
Why he's not: According to WikiLeaks, U.S. diplomats described Sarkozy as "touchy" and "an emperor with no clothes." There is nothing cool about an easily offended man who doesn't realize he's naked.
Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin
Why he's cool: That picture, as well as his cult of personality, led to a song exalting his virtues that reached number one in Russia.
Why he's not: In Soviet Russia, a truly strong leader would never have allowed himself to be term limited out of the presidency -- thus, having to settle for being prime minister.
American President Barack Obama
Why he's cool: For a fairly long period of time, which has now ended, his coolness was repeatedly pointed out by a fawning press. He also presides over the coolest country in the world, if we do say so ourself.
Why he's not: He sometimes wears mom jeans.
German Chancellor Angela Merkel
Why's she's cool: According to WikiLeaks, American officials called the German chancellor "Teflon Merkel." Other prominent figures who've been granted a Teflon-related moniker: John Gotti, otherwise known as the Dapper Don, and Ronald Reagan, who could look suave while eating jellybeans.
Why she's not: Germans are not allowed to be cool. It's actually a provision of the Potsdam Agreement.
That's because a lot of it focuses on the personalities of some of the world's most prominent leaders. Now we know all about the gift-filled bromance between Vladimir Putin and Silvio Berlusconi, how Muammar al-Gaddafi always has a voluptuous blonde Ukrainian nurse at his side and that U.S. diplomats believe vagina-having Angela Merkel is the only leader man enough to rule Europe.
Given the TMZ-like nature of many of the exposed cables, it got us thinking: Who is the world's coolest head of state?
Read on to learn the cool and not-so-cool things about each of our five nominees. Then use the comment section to bring up any awesome world leaders that we've overlooked. (Bonus points for anyone who can offer up a cogent argument as to why Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper should be on this list.)
| Silvio Berlusconi -- he puts the party back into Italy | |
|---|---|
| Nicolas Sarkozy -- hey, The Fonz was also a small man | |
| Vladimir Putin -- yes, we know he is not technically in charge of Russia | |
| Barack Obama -- ran for president on a platform of being cool -- and won | |
| Angela Merkel -- ladies can be pimps, too |
Italian Prime Minister Silvio BerlusconiWhy he's cool: He allegedly throws wild, marijuana-filled parties during which comely young ladies wait in line to spend quality time with the billionaire. He pretty much always says and does whatever the hell he wants.
Why he's not: Berlusconi has had more plastic surgery than an aging starlet.
French President Nicolas SarkozyWhy he's cool: He married a former supermodelwho previously dated Mick Jagger and Eric Clapton, and he is always running around being all dynamic and compact.
Why he's not: According to WikiLeaks, U.S. diplomats described Sarkozy as "touchy" and "an emperor with no clothes." There is nothing cool about an easily offended man who doesn't realize he's naked.
Russian Prime Minister Vladimir PutinWhy he's cool: That picture, as well as his cult of personality, led to a song exalting his virtues that reached number one in Russia.
Why he's not: In Soviet Russia, a truly strong leader would never have allowed himself to be term limited out of the presidency -- thus, having to settle for being prime minister.
American President Barack ObamaWhy he's cool: For a fairly long period of time, which has now ended, his coolness was repeatedly pointed out by a fawning press. He also presides over the coolest country in the world, if we do say so ourself.
Why he's not: He sometimes wears mom jeans.
German Chancellor Angela MerkelWhy's she's cool: According to WikiLeaks, American officials called the German chancellor "Teflon Merkel." Other prominent figures who've been granted a Teflon-related moniker: John Gotti, otherwise known as the Dapper Don, and Ronald Reagan, who could look suave while eating jellybeans.
Why she's not: Germans are not allowed to be cool. It's actually a provision of the Potsdam Agreement.
No comments:
Post a Comment